Confused in Italy

If I had to choose one word to describe this week it would be, Confused.  I learned this week that the person I traveled half way across the world with is still dealing with ex-boyfriend issues. We have been dating for almost four years next month yet she can't get over whatever he did to her in her past. The lesson I took away from my breakup of my right year relationship is that you have to move on and stop dwelling in the past. I seem to learn that lesson over and over in life but sometimes I wonder if I am the only person looking at life and taking each day as a lesson. You have to learn and grow each day otherwise you will never develop into the beautiful butterfly life wants you to be. We all start life in our own caccoon because its the safest thing for us. Yet you must grow and develop day by day before life passes you by. I have always been a deep thinker so much so that I can say that is my biggest flaw, I live inside my head. I judge people the moment I meet them and live with a predisposed idea of what I expect out of life, however the biggest flaw with this is that life loves to mess that up by showing that there are many layers to each person. I truly want one thing, a love that will last a life time. I came to Italy thinking I had found that and not even a month into being here I'm starting to realize that I will probably leave Italy single and more confused. I just wonder why it's so hard to meet someone who can appreciate me for me? I will keep my chin up and keep it moving because that is literally my only option but every once and a while life needs to throw me a bone.

Well it has been a long week . . .

I have been in Firenze for a bit over a week now. The range of feelings I have experience has been all over the place but the one constant feeling has been lost. I have teared up every day that I have been here for one reason or another. Either the immense beauty that I have seen or the extreme pain I feel from being so far away from my home. I think the shock and awe of this trip has already fizzled and now I just feel trapped here amongst strangers. Never have I felt so alone while being around so many people. I even have six roommates but its still odd to me because I am not used to living with so many people. I think this is going to be a long ten months.

I am glad however that school is starting soon and that will redirect my energy and my spirits. I need something to do rather than just wonder and work out every day. Its fun but after a bit it becomes lonely just like it was back in the states. I realize more than anything I am the constant in this scenario and if any issues like this its because I continue in the same patterns way to often. I find myself clinging to things from home but I just paid 8 Euro for a small fountain coke. Lesson learned, ask for the price before ordering anything! I am living on a budget and am not used to it at all.

I think the oddest part mainly is that all the people I am around are all babies and it makes me realize that I am to old to be living with 20 year olds and people who act like they are. I thought I was immature but I realized by association that I'm not a kid anymore. I need to get my shit together and quickly before life leaves me behind.

So I live in Florence now, no big deal!

I have been in Florence for about 4 days now and I have accomplished more than I would normally back in the states. I walk every where, drink mainly water, and am feeling fantastic. I think for the first time in my life I feel like I am doing something productive with my time. I know this is the beginning of a different way of living. I can not and will not go back home and fall back into my daily routines. I haven't smoked for about a week and I feel GREAT!!!! I thought it would be rough but oddly its easy when you have hundreds of years of art to distract you. I have always considered myself artistic and yes I have a degree that says others agree with me but I am more than an artist, I am a student. I am always learning and I realize now that college was nothing more than a great way to learn.

I have so much more to see but here is a quick glimpse of what I have seen so far.

Two days left in California

Two days left in California and I am excited, stressed, and nervous.

I am excited for all the great things that are coming my way shortly.
I am stressed out because I will miss my family and know that I will experience a sense of culture shock I have never seen before.
I am nervous because any number of situations may arise which I have not prepared for.

The only thing that matters now is that this is happening!

I will be leaving tuesday morning and will be taking four flights in one day. Seeing as I have never been on a plane for more than one hour at a time, I am a bit nervous. I am flying from Los Angeles to San Francisco to Munich to Frankfurt to Florence. The entire day of travel will be about 20 some hours.
Hope all works out well but like my mom always says, "if its your time then there is nothing you can do about it."

I just hope its not my time but at least I will have good company waiting for me on the other side.

I really wish that my Father, Grandfather, and Grandmother where around to experience this live changing journey with me but I have to carry all their lessons in my heart and remember that I will always have them with me because without them there would be no me.

Next time I post, I will either be traveling or living half way across the world.

Much love,
Jason

Bart ride and some random thoughts

As I sit on the bart train heading to work, I spotted an American flag on the side of a train. It just hit me honestly that I am going to be living outside of America and definitely outside of my comfort zone. Holy shit! This is gonna be nuts.

I sent out my first request today asking someone to the care of Chloe for the nine months I'm gone. Hopefully whatever happens works out for the best with her and that she is hold on till I return. 

So much more to figure out. Essentially I am four months and counting. I gotta quit my job, sell my possessions, relocated my dog, and get ready for one hell of an adventure. I have no time to waste cause as of now I'm on a mission to love life.

Well this is it

My name is Jason and I am on a journey. A journey to find myself.


On the first of May, I purchased a one way ticket from San Francisco,  California to Florence, Italy. My intentions are to earn my Masters Degree in Graphic Design while in Italy. I am applying to schools in Florence; Florence Design Academy and the Florence Design Institute. They both seem to have a lot to offer which makes the decision even more difficult. I am leaning towards the Academy but was just today contacted by the Institute and now I am just as confused as ever about my choice. I will do as much research as I can over the next few days and let that lead me to my ultimate choice.

Either way on August 27th 2013 I will be leaving San Francisco and moving to Florence. I have no idea where I will stay and truly no idea what I am doing. But God Damn, It's exciting! I am thinking that this will be a great life experience for many reasons but many of which I couldn't even begin to guess at now.

I still have a ton of stuff to figure out in the next four weeks. What will I do with Chloe? What will I do with all my stuff? Where will I live when I get there? I could go on and on but I would prefer to just live and explain what happened after. I don't know if anyone will ever read this and to be honest I don't really care right now. I know that this is a way of meditating and reflecting on my experience and thoughts. If there is a moment of insight then so be it but mainly I am trying to catalogue my experience from my personal perspective. I will be maintaining this blog for the next year to share my study abroad experience as well as my own thoughts as a first time traveler leaving America.

Also this may be important to explaining the level of excitement I have. I am 29 years old and have never been out of America. I have lived in California my entire life. I lived in Los Angeles for 18 years, San Diego for 6 years, and San Francisco for another 6 years. The furthest that I have ever been away from California is Texas and that was only for a funeral so I don't think that really counts. And Las Vegas and Tijuana are basically part of California in my opinion. I am 100% positive that I am in for a culture shocking experience like nothing else I have ever experienced. I don't know what to look for or ever what to expect, but isn't that life in a nut shell?

I will leave my first blog with this closing phrase:
Amore is Todo

This is the motto of my life and will forever live every day with as much love in my heart as possible. Hopefully the love continues around the world.