Just for now, Just for fun

As each day passes and I have less and less time here in Italy I have been forcing myself to push my limits even more than I have in the previous 8 months. I have met some interesting people who are helping me understand things that I never knew I didn't understand, which is insane because I thought I knew everything that I needed to know. The stupidest thing I have ever thought or said is that I thought I knew everything I needed to know. I have learned to listen to others, to open my eyes and see the worlds beauty again, I have learned to not listen to others, and I have learned to close my eyes and heighten my other senses. The point I am getting at is that I am finding a balance in life for the first time ever and truly understand that I know nothing. I want to continue to pursue a daily education and push myself to learn as much as possible about everything I possibly can.

As I am sitting here in Italy in the Oblate I am surrounded by people who are putting in the work. I don't know what they are working towards or for but I see that they are putting time in. My biggest problem is I have been in school for so damn long now that I can't even believe I put myself back into school after I achieved my bachelors degree. A masters degree will come in handy down the line but I am staring to realize a few things about myself and formulating ideas about my potential future. I would like to now share a few ideas and thoughts that I have had lately. I want this to be shared because maybe someone in the world can help me make these things happen or maybe I will just use this as a way to remind myself of what I want to do with my future.

1- When I get back to Los Angeles I will begin to place art installations all over the city. They will be in various places that people will accidentally stumble upon. The idea is to create an art piece that confuses people while also giving them a sense of awe when they stumble upon my art pieces. Details of the art installation will be released at a more appropriate time.

2- I want to meet at least 5 new people every week. I want this to be something I force myself to do because it will be great for networking. I also want to overcome the idea that anyone is better than anyone else. I have learned from my life experiences that people are people, good or bad, they are all just trying to figure out their shit.

3- Spend more time with my family and close friends. I have spent the last 12 years avoiding contact with family and certain friends because my pride and my ego wouldn't allow me to lower my guard. A year removed from your friends and family really allows you to see how important they are to you. It also helps you realize that someday they might not be there for you, so enjoy as much time as you can with them.

4- Don't be afraid to tell people I love them. This is something that is really important to me in terms of something I need to improve upon. I was once told by my Grandfather, "Amor es Todo." These were the wisest words anyone ever shared with me. I have learned the simplest thoughts can hold tremendous weight. The reason it is important to never forget to tell the people you love that you do is because there is always that slight chance it could be your last time ever saying it to them. If you love someone then don't be afraid to let them know.

5- Watch the clouds more often and day dream. When I was in high school my best buddy and I used to sit on Ventura blvd and watch the clouds go by for hours. It was a simple time but it was a time that I will remember forever. Like I said, some of the simplest things can hold tremendous weight in life. My few months in Italy has restarted my love for sitting still and watching the clouds transform in the sky. This helps me day dream by choosing what clouds actually look like something real. Day dreaming is important because it clears your mind and allows you to not think about anything other than the beauty of that moment in your life.

6- Appreciate the little things. I feel like this one is doesn't need an explanation. Truly it is important to stop every once and awhile to just look around and appreciate the moment you have been blessed with. Deep breathes and gorgeous views really help your mind go to a better place.

7- Smile as much as possible. The more you smile, the more people will be attracted to you. I feel like the sentence I have heard the last few months is, "do you ever stop smiling?" My only response ever is, "Nope. I am to damn happy." Remember happiness starts and ends in your head. If you think your happy, then you are. I see life as black and white. There is only good and bad, right or wrong, left or right, up or down, etc. You get it, right?

8- Find your own rules to live by. These are my rules and things I have learned along the way. In my 30 years of life experience I have buried some amazing people, I have had some epic adventures, I have had some great lovers, I have cried and felt helpless, and I have always come out of each experience with a sense of understanding and happiness because every thing is a learning experience. You should use your particular life experiences to figure out how to live the best life you can. What may work for me might not work at all for you or maybe you should do the exact same thing as I am doing. Really, it doesn't matter. Just find your rules that will bring you to actual happiness.

These are just a few thoughts that I have had lately and really wanted to share them. Remember, life is always changing and its truly for a reason. The reason is, if everything stayed the same all the time then life would be so boring. Life is amazing because you never know what may happen in the next moment.

3 Months Left . . . or is it???

Apparently it is true that when you are having fun time does fly by. Every day seems to get better then the previous day and I hope that never stops. I understand that not every day is going to be this amazing experience but why can't it be? I believe the only thing that stands in my way is the chaos of life. And isn't that just a beautiful thing? If life never changed, never challenged me, gave me everything on a silver plater, then who the hell would I be today? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that this year has been nothing but a privilege that most people will never have and I still feel as this much be a dream but sometimes I just wonder if life could ever get better than this? So far, this year has been the best year of my life. I have felt so many damn emotions since this journey began.

Life starts with fear and pain. So did this journey. I was afraid of all the changes I was about to experience. I was leaving my city, my job, my friends, my family, and the absolutely most difficult thing was leaving the love of my life behind. I know that she is being taken care of and when I get back Chloe and I will  be together again. Chloe is my baby. My ten year old Staffordshire Terrier.

I was in a relationship that was consuming me and I loved it. She was moving to Italy and it seemed logical to me to follow her just so I could wake up next to her. Oddly enough, she didn't really want or appreciate that gesture as much as I thought she would. Oh well, Lesson learned. Now it did take me a while to get over all that and lets be honest, its still a work in progress. I know she has been doing her thing and moving on while considering her past while I am doing pretty much the same thing. I am really happened that this happened here in this situation because many people who travel are looking for something and sometimes that something might just be you.

Now life has been a constant roller coast lately. Nothing bad really, intact everything is quite amazing. I am just confused on how it is possible to be this damn happy all the time. All I have to do now is just figure out how to maintain this happiness level. I think its because the people I have surrounded myself with actually seem to enjoy my company. They don't want or need anything from me except friendship, thats just amazing to me.

So the true point of this post, time is coming to an end here and I am about 5 classes away from completing my Masters Degree in Graphic Design. What??? Wow!!! I can't even believe it. I can't wait to see where my path in life takes me because I feel like I am on a roll right now. I am planning on flying back to America and then driving across it with my homie, Peaches. I hope that goes well.
Besides that I have a few more trips coming up and they are mostly islands in the Mediterranean Sea. I can't wait to get my tan game going.

Ciao, till the next time I have something to say .  . .