Thinking outside the box

Every day for the last 7 months I have woken up in Europe. It still blows my mind that this is my life right now and that life really can be this spectacular. The really crazy thing is that it seems to only get better day by day. I have learned more about myself lately and have been pushing myself to improve myself again. I don't know exactly how it had happened but i am truly happy with myself again. This happiness is crucial to my survival as an artist. I can not think when I am not happy. Years ago I would look at a blank sheet of paper and instantly see something on the paper. I would never draw anything but I would free the paper of its all natural state. I really had lost my vision and when I looked, I saw nothing. I still don't completely see what I used to but I do see something again. I am looking harder then ever before because I remember how important my vision has always been. I used to see the world with such wonder and awe but it has lost its luster after years of the same activities with people who didn't positively affect my life. I allowed myself to loose myself. I really believe that this experience here has put me back on the track to find myself.

Bubbles . . .

Collecting memories constantly is fun! Especially when you take the time to sit down and look back on your special moments in life that have brought you so much joy. I have been sitting on my couch for about 30 minutes now and I feel like this is the first time I have sat still in a long time. I have developed a hunger for life! Its truly what drives me to wake up in the morning and why it has been difficult for me to focus completely on my schooling out here because there is just way to much to do outside every day. I have never been so excited in my life when I wake up in the morning. I wake up with a massive smile on my face every day. Reality has shifted for me so much and I am so proud of myself for allowing myself to grow as a person. I find myself constantly blowing my own mind in terms of how I act and what I am thinking most of the time. I have burst the bubble that I previously lived in and hope to never live in it again.

My best friend had told me in August that I had lost my internal fire, I had lost my passion for life, and I had lost my desire to be happy. I think I lost site of who I am, was, and want to be. I am happy to announce that my fire is back and now I just have to fan the flames and make it grow.

I am the happy adult who is a kid inside and I will survive!