I am at a standstill with how I feel . I see what is happening here in my life and it doesn't seem to matter that I am in Italy. Life is life, pain is pain, and happiness, well I'm not exactly what that is anymore. I am at this odd place in my life where everything seems to be changing at such a crazy fast pace that I can't understand what is happening. I have let people I love walk all over me because I mistook it for something else. Maybe I just let them because I thought they would eventually change. I find myself to be a pretty nice person and I heard from way to many girls here in Italy that happens to be my biggest flaw. I DISAGREE!!!

I can't imagine that being nice and caring can be a bad thing. Trust me I am not perfect, not even close. But I am trying to be a better person every day. Somedays I succeed and some days I fail but the times I fail teach me how to succeed. I am living in a situation that is very difficult for me because I have so much frustration in this current moment. I happen to think I deserve better also!

Well on the brighter side of things. Last night was our ugly christmas sweater party which was really fun. I dressed up as Santa and seemed to really make the party have that little extra. I sat outside of my apartment for about two hours taking pictures with random tourist and Italians. People seemed to respond really well to it even though it was a super tacky outfit.

This blog seems to be all over the place because thats exactly how I feel right now. I am in the final week of classes for my first week of my semester and lets just say all the stress is starting to kick it. I will pull an all night shift to complete my work and then work my butt off the next few days to complete everything as well as I can. I have to stop letting things and people distract me. I seem to get stuck and sucked into my head way to often.