Moment is Everything

Today was a day filled with positive moments and one shocking blow. I began this day by watching a movie about the Mafia. I happen to be in Italy and for the time being it seems like Mafia moves are a stand out option. After this movie ended around 10am I went back to sleep and woke up around 3pm. At this point I walked across the bridge and began to write in my personal journal. Besides my blog which is public I have started a personal journal meant to get everything off of my chest. Basically a lot more complaining than I do here on this page. As for the shocking blow, you probably guessed it, ex-girlfriend issues. It is funny how the world works sometimes and lets just leave it at that.

The point of this blog is not to complain about girls hurting my feelings or stories of sleepy afternoons but rather it is about logging my personal growth and achievements over this period of time that I will be in Italy. I am growing as a person because my normal reality is constantly being ripped apart on a daily basis. Everything seems to be changing at such a rapid pace and I am the only one that seems to be aware of this. This must mean it is happening only to me at this moment in my life. While other people may be experience similar growing periods in life right now, this experience is truly unique to me. I am the one who feels the pain before the joy, I am the one that has to hit the bottom before I can start my journey to the top, and I am the only one who can learn how to make myself happy on a daily basis.

I wish no bad thoughts on anyone especially the ones who have hurt me. I know that they did not hurt me rather it was my mindset that allowed the pain into my reality. The only reality that does exist is that life is what I make it. If I choose to be happy, sad, morose, gloomy, etc., I will be it. This is much easier said than done, I promise you all that. In my journal I record my thoughts on my own existence, my ability to help the world achieve a perspective of the bigger picture, and I focus on the power that lays inside of my mind which is hardly utilized. I am looking to grow my mind and my spirit in this next decade and with that growth bring some knowledge and prosperity to the world. This blog may be the preachiest and off-topic entry yet but all of this needs to be said.

"I am Jason Brooks and I am on a journey to find happiness."

I often tell people that I do not want a career or a job ever but since I live in this reality I know I will have to earn money to survive. I will get by one way or the other but always because life allows me another day. My actions and thoughts all come from the same place in life; confusion. I am confused about life because I do not understand it. How I can exist in this time and be who I am while others have come before me and will leave after me? This may not make sense to many but to me the idea of being eternally happy is something I have been searching for my entire life, even before I knew I was. I hope that I can continue this search for a lifetime because the second someone believes they have found happiness it will change on them. People are only happy until they are not. I believe my only option now is to choose happiness for a lifetime.

Done with the first semester of my Master's Program!

Well here we are, at the end of the middle.

I never thought I would be living in Italy let alone pursuing my master's degree here in graphic design. This semester has been one hell of a ride though. In my American University I only took 4 courses a semester yet here in Italy they made me take 8 classes. Next semester I will take 8 classes again and its basically because they are forcing two years worth of work into one year. Wow! This has been intense and all I know is that next semester I will put a lot more effort into my work because this semester has been filled with randomly Italian adventures.

I came to Italy scared, confused, love-blind, and not sure of anything. It has now been a bit more than three months and I don't feel anything that I felt when I got here. I never realized that three months could be filled with so much fun, sadness, pain, and real joy. It has been one hell of a ride and I still have seven more months to go. I have met people so far on this journey that will be friends forever, I have met people who came and went just as they were meant to, and I have met people that were lovers that will be nothing but a memory when I go back to America. All I can really say is that right now, I am happy when I look myself in the mirror.

This life is to short to hold grudges and be mad. The girl I loved hit me with some intense news last night and WOW, I never saw that coming. All I know is that even the people you trust the most aren't always honest with you. Everyone is playing the game of survival and we have to respect that. I end this blog with such a simple and beautiful song. Remember that smiling faces tell lies.

Smile because today is a gift!

Finding Inspiration

Life is a funny things sometimes. Right when everything feels like it has come together, bam!, it all falls apart. Sure this is a scary thing when it happens and for me it has been one hell of a ride. I was told before coming out here that I was supposed to listen to life and be open to what I am presented with. Well coming from a lifetime of American culture and thoughts, it is very difficult to just open your mind over night. Luckily I have been here almost three months now and I am learning about the Italian way of life.

Top: Garden View

Bottom: Reaching Heart

Everything here in Florence is a bit slower than what I am used to. The shops all seem a bit off somehow as do many of the product. There are security guards at markets who lurk and creep you out while you are also allowed to drink while wondering around in the streets. This place seems to be a city that runs on very few laws and a lot more of presence. There are always a good amount of police walking around in my neighborhood because its a tourist location. Honestly I have never seen them doing anything except heard the African vendors from place to place.

I have been inspired lately by the idea of travel. The idea that I have taken my life from a job to an adventure. I am lucky to be here and I know this fact to be extremely true. With that said, I am loving every moment out here even on the days that I might seem blue. The best part of going to sleep at night is knowing that I am about to rest my head in Europe. I have had the great pleasure of going to see a few places here in Europe so far and am really hoping to see a few more. I might not be able to because surviving out here is expensive enough.

I am at a standstill with how I feel . I see what is happening here in my life and it doesn't seem to matter that I am in Italy. Life is life, pain is pain, and happiness, well I'm not exactly what that is anymore. I am at this odd place in my life where everything seems to be changing at such a crazy fast pace that I can't understand what is happening. I have let people I love walk all over me because I mistook it for something else. Maybe I just let them because I thought they would eventually change. I find myself to be a pretty nice person and I heard from way to many girls here in Italy that happens to be my biggest flaw. I DISAGREE!!!

I can't imagine that being nice and caring can be a bad thing. Trust me I am not perfect, not even close. But I am trying to be a better person every day. Somedays I succeed and some days I fail but the times I fail teach me how to succeed. I am living in a situation that is very difficult for me because I have so much frustration in this current moment. I happen to think I deserve better also!

Well on the brighter side of things. Last night was our ugly christmas sweater party which was really fun. I dressed up as Santa and seemed to really make the party have that little extra. I sat outside of my apartment for about two hours taking pictures with random tourist and Italians. People seemed to respond really well to it even though it was a super tacky outfit.

This blog seems to be all over the place because thats exactly how I feel right now. I am in the final week of classes for my first week of my semester and lets just say all the stress is starting to kick it. I will pull an all night shift to complete my work and then work my butt off the next few days to complete everything as well as I can. I have to stop letting things and people distract me. I seem to get stuck and sucked into my head way to often.

Cross Color Processing

I have been working on a bit of cross color processing. Here is a short clip of some of my recent work.

Time Lapse Video

This post is all about photography. Well specifically it is about 1,200 different pictures that when compiled turn into a video. I took these shots at the Piazza Republica in Firenze, Italy. It took me about an 30 mins of shooting to capture less than one minute of video.

Europe and its treasures

So it has been almost two months since my last post and I vaguely remembering making some sort of declaration of a daily post. Well that did not work out obviously but thats only because life has been absolutely insane. I have spent time in airports all over Europe recently with the best stops occurring in Paris, Barcelona, and my personal favorite city in the entire world, Amsterdam! I traveled with roommates and an ex-lover which proved for fun, interesting, and at times painful moments that I wouldn't trade for the world. While doing all this traveling, I have been doing my absolute best to catch up with my semesters worth of work which has become quite pilled up. Its not that its hard and in fact certain classes I am sure I have done all my work purely because I find it really fun. This is mainly my advertising homework and for whatever reason I find this super fun.

 

Amsterdam

Barcelona

Sienna

So now to the important part of this blog. These two months have spoken very loudly towards me and I have been doing my best to listen to what life is trying to teach me right now. This is essentially what I think life wants me to understand right now.

1- Destiny is what brings you to where you are. When you are there you have two choices. Good or Bad? Left or Right? Straight or Backwards? Destiny will take you places in life that do not make sense and will teach you some valuable lessons.

Destiny in a Box

2- People will always come and go in life. If they are meant to be in your life then they will. If not, it will be ok.

Don't be Sad

3- Do not be afraid to enjoy life because the window of opportunity is closing a bit more each day.

Don't be Afraid

4- Don't be afraid to talk to strangers, they might become friends.

5- Most of all, enjoy the fact that you are alive right now and capable of doing things other can only dream of.

I am not sure where my Destiny is taking me but so far it has taken me from Los Angeles to San Diego to San Francisco to Florence. I wonder what is coming next?